The Aches: Head and Heart

I woke up today and felt like crap. I'm not sure why, but I had this pounding headache that I just couldn't shake. My head isn't the only thing that has been ailing me as of late, however. This past Monday night we had our last REVOLUTION of the year. (The REVOLUTION, by the way, is the name of our high school youth group and the ministry in which I've served for the past few years.) This past Monday was our featured Praise and Share Night where students and leaders are led into worship and then asked to publicly praise God by sharing a little about what they've learned over the past year or what they've struggled to let go of. It is always a thrilling time that draws me (and many others) to experience the impact of true community and corporate praise and worship. Despite some really annoying feedback during our worship set, God really used that night to create another ache in me: heartache.

God blessed me with a powerful night of seeing the fruit of the relationships we've established and work we've accomplished over the past three years. To see students worshipping God with a reckless abandon that I long to see in our adult population on a Sunday morning, was such a beautiful site. And even more humbling was when one of our volunteer leaders led students to pray for my buddy and I, while laying hands on us. They sort of commissioned us as we're moving on from our positions as co-directors of the youth ministry. I still don't feel worthy to have been used as a laborer in the God's Kingdom. I mean, He is so holy, and I nearly screwed everything up on so many different occasions. Yet God has been so faithful. He's protected me and humbled me and forced me to depend on Him in so many ways. I know that I did not deserve any of the praises of our youth group that evening, yet God in His goodness allowed me to receive it from Him. Knowing what I know about myself and wretch that I am in my flesh, I deflected that praise back to Him in attempts to give glory where glory is due. After all, He is one that is good! How he can use me in spite of me, I just don't know. But I do know that it has been a joy to serve Him in this ministry over the past three years, and I plan on serving Him for many years to come.

I'm not done serving Him here at the church, but each day that I have left at the church reminds me that one season of life is coming to a close and another is being opened, which brings up many memories and emotions. Maybe my felt heartache has contributed to today's felt headache (which is an understatement, let me tell you). I'm not sure exactly why I'm feeling the way I am, but I am glad for all my aches today as they've helped me to fall (again) at the feet of my Savior and say, "Thank you, Father! All praise and glory be to YOUR name."

May we continue to give glory where glory is due and receive from God the humbling blessing of being used to increase His glory! Bless you!