Thursday, December 21, 2006

Reflections from a Messy Christian

If I was going to write a book, this would be the title--Reflections from a Messy Christian. It's amazing to me that so many believers pretend to have it all together--all sorted out and tied up in a pretty bow. So many put on a happy face for Sunday morning, and their snazzy clothes, and they talk the usual Christianese...all the while hiding from what they're really feeling or wishing they could say or tell someone about. Why do so many messy Christians pretend to be all put-together?

I wish I had happy thoughts about church and how it helps people. Right now I don't. I've seen so many times that the church shuns the messy people--they're not welcome. They're asked to leave or change or are not allowed to step foot inside a place that is supposed to love and care about people. Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you." How many people did Jesus shun or turn away? How many people didn't feel good enough to be near Him or not welcome around Him? NONE. Jesus surrounded Himself with a motley crew of guys who were basically nobodys by the worlds standards. These men, He would later call His disciples. Jesus welcomed tax collectors and prostitues--those shunned by the wold but important to Him. He welcomed children, whose presence was seen as a bother or burden--even to His disciples. To me, Jesus' mandate to love as He loved is clear. We need to follow His lead and love the messy people.

I wish that church could be the safest place on earth for messy people to be. It's just not. As a result, many people are not welcome and many more become pretenders...just to be able to fit into the shiny environment that they so long to be a part of. Me? I've pretended for a long time...but long for a place where I can be me and come with all my issues--big and small--to a place that draws out healing and life and the Spirit of the Living God in one another. I don't want to be a part of a shiny church, I want to be part of a community that is real and raw and life-giving. The early church was a place where people were drawn--it was a contagious place. Today's church is a place where the messy people know that they're not welcome so they don't even try to go, and even more play the pretend game to try to find comfort in a place where they are never really known. I'm not a cynic--I long for revival and life in the church and I believe it is possible. But it is possible only if we're willing to confront our weaknesses and stop pretending to be all put-together. We have to acknowledge that we are messy believers who don't have it all figured out, and we have to have that modeled from the leadership of our churches. Brokeness and humility and weakness are not signs of a bad Christian or a bad leader, they're signs of a real Christian--a real leader. So what are we afraid of?

I don't know about you, but I'm drawn to the idea of messy Christians openly acknowledging their messiness and their need for their Savior. That's me, as best I can describe myself: a messy Christian who is daily in desperate need of his Savior.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Trust Me

So I was talking to a friend of mine today and she has a major trust issue. It's like she wants to know for certain that no one is taking advantage of her and that she's not getting duped or being lied to like so many of her friends. She's wanting to avoid being that naive "Oh I just trust him" kind of girl, yet is fighting the very nature of trust...faith.

I was trying to explain my perspective by talking about God. Have you ever heard someone ask, "Well if God wanted me to believe in Him, then how come He doesn't make it obvious that He's real? I mean, if He's real, why doesn't he just prove it?" I smile when someone says that first because it shows a WANT to believe. Yet, the nature of God will not ever be to prove Himself. He wants us to believe and therefore give him glory through our belief...because it is not out of proof but out of faith that we desire to know and love and live for Him. Faith is not "proveable" or it would not be faith. 2 + 2 = 4 is not readily questioned, but the only way that I can say God is, was, and will be is not because it is 2 + 2 = 4. It's because I believe Him at His Word. That's faith. That's trust.

So back to talking about everyday human trust.... What is it in our nature that makes us want proof that we're not being duped? Why is the risk of trust so difficult to rest in? Why can't issues like faith and trust come easy for us? What's the hang up? Why when I say "trust me" is the risk so great for the trust-er?

I think for me the reason that I'm okay with trusting and possibly being duped is because I want to take people at their word. I want to want to trust them. I want to call out the sacred within them and allow myself to believe that what they're telling me is true and honest. Granted, trusting a human is a LOT different than trusting God at His Word, becuase God never fails! I am sure to screw up a lot and to fail even the people I love the most. But God is never that way. So when God says "Trust Me", is it just my pride that keeps me from relinquishing the guise of control that I have on my life to see if what He has is really better? What do you think?