If I was going to write a book, this would be the title--Reflections from a Messy Christian. It's amazing to me that so many believers pretend to have it all together--all sorted out and tied up in a pretty bow. So many put on a happy face for Sunday morning, and their snazzy clothes, and they talk the usual Christianese...all the while hiding from what they're really feeling or wishing they could say or tell someone about. Why do so many messy Christians pretend to be all put-together?
I wish I had happy thoughts about church and how it helps people. Right now I don't. I've seen so many times that the church shuns the messy people--they're not welcome. They're asked to leave or change or are not allowed to step foot inside a place that is supposed to love and care about people. Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you." How many people did Jesus shun or turn away? How many people didn't feel good enough to be near Him or not welcome around Him? NONE. Jesus surrounded Himself with a motley crew of guys who were basically nobodys by the worlds standards. These men, He would later call His disciples. Jesus welcomed tax collectors and prostitues--those shunned by the wold but important to Him. He welcomed children, whose presence was seen as a bother or burden--even to His disciples. To me, Jesus' mandate to love as He loved is clear. We need to follow His lead and love the messy people.
I wish that church could be the safest place on earth for messy people to be. It's just not. As a result, many people are not welcome and many more become pretenders...just to be able to fit into the shiny environment that they so long to be a part of. Me? I've pretended for a long time...but long for a place where I can be me and come with all my issues--big and small--to a place that draws out healing and life and the Spirit of the Living God in one another. I don't want to be a part of a shiny church, I want to be part of a community that is real and raw and life-giving. The early church was a place where people were drawn--it was a contagious place. Today's church is a place where the messy people know that they're not welcome so they don't even try to go, and even more play the pretend game to try to find comfort in a place where they are never really known. I'm not a cynic--I long for revival and life in the church and I believe it is possible. But it is possible only if we're willing to confront our weaknesses and stop pretending to be all put-together. We have to acknowledge that we are messy believers who don't have it all figured out, and we have to have that modeled from the leadership of our churches. Brokeness and humility and weakness are not signs of a bad Christian or a bad leader, they're signs of a real Christian--a real leader. So what are we afraid of?
I don't know about you, but I'm drawn to the idea of messy Christians openly acknowledging their messiness and their need for their Savior. That's me, as best I can describe myself: a messy Christian who is daily in desperate need of his Savior.
18 comments:
BJ, I am with you 100% on this. I have never been good at faking anything - and certainly not the most important things in life.
I can't believe you posted! I saw your comment on my blog and got all excited.
Merry Christmas to you my special friend!
If more Christians were like you, there would be more Christians.
Merry Christmas!
Well you can just forget about being honest and open in church. Take if from someone who tried and lived to regret it.
Barbara--I surprised myself actually. It's a good sign. When I desire to write and read it usually means I'm doing well.
Diana--Thank you for your kind words. I'm not sure if they come as someone who is in agreement with what I said or someone who just longs to be heard, but thank you.
Dotbar--I'm sorry you've been hurt. I've been hurt too. Really badly, but for some reason I still have hope--maybe cuz it's not about me.
Your post reminds me of a conversation that I had a few years ago with a seeker named Tom. He was not a believer. He told me that he thought that the church was a mess. I answered his concern and told him that I knew why the church was a mess and wondered if he would like to know why as well. Perplexed by my response, Tom said that he would like to know why the church was mess. God gave me some wisdom. I told him that the church is a mess because "I" am a mess … and I am in good company. You know that the church has always been a mess. The apostle Paul spent large parts of his letters dealing with messy situations in the early churches. Even he himself struggled. He said that the things he wanted to do he did not do and those things he didn’t want to do he found himself doing. I am sure that one such time was when he and his friend and co-laborer, Barnabas, disagreed whether Mark should be brought along on a missions trip. It is written, "they had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company". You see they parted ways over "right" and "wrong" … and God used each of them anyway. There is no denying it … families are not neat and tidy. Relationships, even good ones, are often messy.
Keep writing!
Happy New Year, friend!
Got here through KB and Barbara...
this is just a great post!
That's why I'm an Episcopalian. I'm so thankful in *my particular church* that all of God's children are welcome, and feel such. We have homosexuals, divorcees, *drug* addicts and/or recovering addicts, former criminals, un-wed mothers, the poor, the rich, a lawyer-- you name it, we've got it in our church of only 50.
I love our church so much, we've opened our minds and hearts to the love of God, and all of his people. We're thankful each and every sunday, for every person who walks through our doors. I wish ALL churches could have such love and understanding of all of God's children-- that they are flawed, because they are human-- and God loves them anyway.
Thanks for this post *hugs*
i once, in the not so distant past, had a christian friend say to me, "be careful who you hang out with". i asked him what he meant and he made reference to some people we knew. this was not a hostile or mean spirited conversation. i think he was really concerned for me. when i lightly referenced back the fact that Jesus had beeen known to hang out with thieves and whores i offended this guy to the core. he stepped back from me.
i was crushed. i really hurt this guy. so i quickly started to explain what i meant by the reference and how Jesus touched so many lives and loved everyone. what if he hadn't talked to the woman at the well? how "different" she was to Jesus, let alone a WOMAN! this friend of mine said that he was concerned for me before and even moreso now. "you just be careful" "i can't believe you would put Jesus in the same sentence as the word whore!" he was a music minister. i kept thinking to myself, after worship was over, didn't you listen to the sermons?
i couldn't wait to tell my husband about this conversation because it bothered me so much.
here goes my big mouth, getting me in trouble... yet again.
my husband said that we all have a job to do (sharing Christ) but we all play different parts. some of us GET to show Christ to Christians and some of us GET to show Christ to non-Christians.
he also said that i was lucky enough to be such a big mouth to cover both sides. :o)
Good to hear from you. Hope you're doing well.
You are speaking words right out of my heart. Why is church such a place that promotes denial when the one thing we need most is to confess what we struggle with? I am tired of it. My brand spanking new approach to faith is "This is who I am, this is what I struggle with...I dare you to judge me. I will call you out as a pharisee." Maybe if we all become diehard truth tellers, we can break this.
you're right, a lot of people think they have to be put together to call themselves christian, but they are missing the point. so well said!!
Messy Christians, I am yet to meet one so clean his poo don't stink. I am in the club with the rest of y'all - mistake after mistake - yet I am trying to learn - but I am human - mistakes do happen. Looked at the books you're plugging, interesting selection.
hey bj
you should read messy spirituality (if you haven't already) by Mike yaconelli - will warm your heart - he was a dear dear friend whose take and zest for life in all its brokenness i miss so so much
Hi there, I stumbled upon this blog in the early hours of the morning while researching a quote. Your post came up with the most common word-hits for some reason, but it spoke volumes to me.
I'm British, and have been struggling with my local church for many years now. They're church of england, which is supposed to be less orthadox than the catholic church, whatever that means, but your post cleared up many thoughts that have been rampaging through my head.
For the past six months I have not felt welcome in my church. They do not welcome the messy people, and on the scale of things, I do not believe I am as "messy" politically as most. If I should be myself in church, then I would be excluded, excluded for being the woman God made me, and I believe that that is neither being truthfu to myself, or truthful to God.
Your post has helped me see that it is not myself that is a odds with God, but my church itself, who preaches only to the most prudish, and the greatest pretenders of all.
We are all God's Children, and we should act as such, and treat and be treated by others as such. We are not fit to judge, and as Christians we should be spreading the word of God, and helping people find God within themselves, not picking through their flaws, deeming them acceptable or not acceptable to seek an audience with our Lord, for we are all able. All we need is to know how.
Messy we may be, but Children of our Lord we are all.
Thanks for sharing that. I went to Catholic School most of my life. We had to study the lives of saints there. It was always funny how it worked. Alot were considered the sinners and then later they all called them saints. I recall the story of John of Cross: they threw in prison because they considered him a religious outcast or 'a messy christian'
So, we are not perfect. From my personal experience I believe that those who strive so much toward that image of perfection it is just because that is what they believe that God expects from them. Sure, they know they are sinners, but they have been saved, and need to "be holy as God is holy". I am not saying that I agree with this view, but since you're end game don't seem to be this state of holiness, I am just curious to know, what is it? What do you believe that God wants from you, and where did you come up with that idea? I have a blog too with question about Christianity from a Christian perspective. If you have time check it out, I would love to hear what you think.
my blog
http://faith-in-religion.blogspot.com/
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