I'm lying here tired from my day with my mind spinning--as usual. It's a new year and I want to live this one better than the last and screw up less and honor God more. I guess I feel overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed with desire to be a better person, a fuller man, a stronger Christian...and I feel the heaviness of not knowing where to start. I have so many flaws, so many hangups, so many sins (that so easily entangle) and it often feels like I have so little to offer. A new year but the same frustrations and struggles. I know I'm a new creation but I feel so very old.
Yet in the midst of my sobering thoughts, I find myself comforted that I am His. I have no more answers in this the start of 2007 than I had at the end of 2006, but I have my Lord...and He is enough for me. He doesn't feel like enough most days. He doesn't feel present in my struggles and frustrations very often. But I do trust that He is enough.
I'm wondering if I'm alone in feeling like this and wanting to snap out of it and put some crafty spin on this that's motivating and captivating and...and yeah, you get it. I'm actually trying to find expressive words to make this sound better than it really is. :::smiles::: I'm a redeemed wretch, but I am His.
:::teary eyed::: I'm very thankful.
4 comments:
I have to say, I'm not even Christian, but that was beautiful...
Nice.
"His divine power has given us everything we need."
VERY Nice......His plan and His time and I just want to...want to...well...everything you said. NICE
This is a radical, scary undertaking, to beleive what we do. I know what you mean about feeling new and very old at the same time. You are not alone at all. but you know, don't worry so much about screwing up. The more you lose yourself in him, the more you let yourself get loved by him, the less you have to worry about being a "stronger Christian" Being a "stronger" Christian is an oxymoron. We are made perfect in weakness and it sounds like you are on that road. Praise God.
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