[Here's an excerpt from an email I sent a friend today. [The parentheses represent the only real additions to my original email.] I was curious to get more feedback about my thoughts here. To those reading, please let me know what you think!
I want to be honest with you about something. My road, though I have been a Christian for almost my entire life, has not been without many potholes, misdirections, and miscues. I'm assuming that doesn't come as a shock or surprise to you...as the world is messy [and so are those in it]. However, I just want to lay it out there from the beginning that I'm far from perfect. I've made many mistakes, all of which I wish I could get back...but I'm grateful to the Lord for pulling me through and for allowing me to learn from my journey and keep going. I know I'm not really in a spot to start confessing my life's woes to you, but I don't want to give any mixed messages. I'm a sinner...saved by grace...and reveling in my redemption as often as I can. My favorite Scripture is from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Now I know that Paul wasn't talking about sin when he was talking about boasting here...but I think the premise is still true...that in the spots that we are weak, we need to be vocal. We need to express that only Jesus can get us through--that on my own I'm useless and weak. But that's not the end of the story (thanks be to God). After all, His grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in weakness. His power is made perfect when we get out of the way and let Him work! Why is it so easy for sin to continue to own people...even those made new in Christ? Because they're trying to beat it on their own instead of putting Christ on display in their lives! Right? [...and ultimately, even you if disagree with my thoughts here. What would it hurt to put Jesus on display? Could we end up making a mistake by being honest about who we are and our need for Christ to indwell us daily--even (and I would say ESPECIALLY) the grossest parts of who we are?]
I hope you don't think I'm nuts--just passionate about my Lord. I want to live for Him more than anything, yet I fall so short so often it seems. I hope this email doesn't freak you out. It is very much me...how I'm wired and how I think, so now you've seen more of my heart. What do you think?
12 comments:
Nice job ... authentic, transparent, real and vulnerable ... you are a good friend.
Hey Beej,
Very well written and I can relate far too well.
Trying my hardest today to "do what's write" but maybe that's my problem, I am trying instead of surrendering....just thought of that. Thanks.
Miss you.
I understand all the grace stuff, I wasn't a christian until God gave me a new life at 25 yrs. It's been almost 11, now. But, today I feel like I'm the most wreched person in the world, I don't understand why I'm forgiven (because I deeply to the bottom of my soul repented) yet I can't change the cycle of sin and distruction in my children's lives. No matter how hard I tried to teach them it was never enough and every one else in the church lives a good life with children who love and adore God. I have two girls following in my foot steps not God's. If it's never too late how comes I feel nothing has changed. I want to lead people to Christ but what kind of example am I and my disfunctional family. We're the family Christians flea from.
Kansas Bob--Thanks for your kind words. I aspire to be a good friend.
Barbara--I miss you too...and thanks for your encouragement.
Anonymous--you're not the family I'd flee from! I know how you feel...feeling the the "most wretched person in the world."...and so did the Apostle Paul. He thought he was the biggest wretch ever too. Remember? The nature of forgiveness and grace is that we don't understand or deserve them in any way. That's just how God chooses to shower us with His undeserved love. It's amazing! Your realization about your children is right...you can't change them. But God can! If He changed you...(and me)...then He can change them. Just keep praying...as I will for you and them. And remember, God is with you!
Hi, I´m Daniel, a messianic jew from Argentina.
I just want to say: Congratulations! Your blog is excellent.
God Bless You!!
About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].
Peace Be With You
Micky
Interesting blog. I hope you are more active with it.
I'm curious to know what would happen if an eternal truth came out that proved Christianity was all a lie. The Christian community is growing by the day, could you imagine the chaos if their whole belief system collapsed?
I personally am not a Christian and could never be one. It still baffles me as to how people become so involved and devout towards the Bible. The Bible is not a book, it is more a library which ancient rulers added and omitted what they pleased. I feel people don't do their research and only believe what suits them at the time.
Hey BJ, I stumbled upon your blog a while ago and my heart went out to you! I think you should check out this testimony that my friend wrote.
http://www.whatdoesthebibleteach.com/testimonies/t2.html
God bless!
I was blessed by this post. I can relate so much with it.
God bless!
Excellent site!
I'm new to this blog thing, but I want to say that I think religion got it wrong. I don't think Jesus meant for us to worship him. I think he meant for us to emulate him. We are God too. We are humans searching for our divine selves. The love we look for in Jesus or God is the love we are meant to bestow upon ourselves. First we must love ourselves, otherwise how can we love anyone or anything else. Loving yourself is hard because you alone know how wretched you can be. But that's the point, isn't it? If you can truly love yourself, then you finally have the ability to love others. The kingdom of God is within you. Where are the boundaries. If you are interested in such things, visit my blog, www.edenmind.com
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