Wednesday, June 01, 2005

A Much Needed Pick-Me-Up

So I've been feeling sorry for myself today. Just been thinking a lot about where I'm at in life and wishing that there was more for me, ya know? You ever been there? I mean, most of my best friends are married or working on it, I'm not a "success" in the eyes of man, I've just been feeling down today, and yet I have so much to be thankful for.

I came home tonight to find one of my favorite movies, Glory, on cable. It's like God knew what I needed to see and hear to encourage my spirit. I had just watched the movie for a few minutes before my favorite part of the movie came up. The men who were fighting in the Civil War, in the army's first black regiment--the 54, were gathered around a campfire and we're praising Jesus, asking for His blessing on their battle the next morning. They were walking into a certain death on the battlefield excited and praising their Lord! They had a faith beyond human reason and earthly accolades. They were proud to serve and even prouder about their hope in their Lord, who would sustain them, no matter the outcome--win or lose, live or die.

Oh that I might cling to the truth that the Lord sustains me...even today when my Spirit is heavy. I want so badly to live in the victory that Christ claimed for me through a brutal agony. And yet so often I'm consumed with the petty frustrations of life, and I get lost in all of what is "lacking", and by the way I live and think, you'd think that I had lost the battle. Oh that I might realize that I lack nothing, because in Him I have everything. This is not a passive truth that exists before me but an active one that empowers me to fight and live more fully for Him and His glory. The 54 lost over half of its men in that battle to capture Ft. Wagner, yet they were not failures. Though the fort was never taken, word of the bravery of this regiment of color spread throughout the Union, and many more regiments of color entered the war. President Lincoln attributed the eventual victory to this turning point, ushered in by the 54.

Oh that I may fight as a soldier of color for my Lord, in the midst of such a black and white world. May you and I, friends, find ourselves standing out boldly, taking risks for His glory, all the while knowing that no matter the outcome we are already victors in the reality that we fight with Him and for Him...and nothing else matters.

6 comments:

Bar L. said...

BJ, I sensed that you were feeling down today and I prayed for you. Sometimes (well lots of times actually) it's easier to pray for others than ourselves. I was feeling pretty low too, for totally different reasons.

I wish I had words of encouragement to offer right now...but I am our of words. I will say another prayer instead.

Email me if you ever need a much older sister to talk to.

BJ said...

To my older sis,

Thanks for your encouragement, as always. I appreciate you. I know that you've been in a bind lately with the job stuff and I pray that God will draw you to keep fighting, knowing that he is your prize and you already have Him...to the fullest. May God bless you, as He has me through you this early morning.

Bar L. said...

What in the world are we doing up so late! Aidios Amigo! going to take siesta.....

JOE B said...

BJ, Keep your head up brother. When you do the right things for the Kingdom of God, the devil sees what you are doing and tries to but a damper on it. The devil will do anything to stop you from talking about and living for God. Always rely on God, (I know sometimes that is hard to do in this world) but He WILL see you through. I know I am preaching to the choir so I will shut up now.
God bless, Joe

Anonymous said...

When flying through a thick cloud, focus on the Calibrated Instrument (Jesus)--he will help you all the way.

((hugs))

kdoll aka *~Puzzle~* said...

I know what it’s like to have friends marry around you. They suddenly have less time for you and you feel left out especially when your friends are all going on double dates and triple dates and things like that. My best friend got married in October and it was like thaat. And now my cousin, who I’m aslo close to is getting married in november. But It’s still exciting. I get to be a bridesmaid twice within a year. But sometimes I get down too. But all will come about in his timing.