Thursday, August 25, 2005

Fresh Starts

Why is it that though God's mercies are new every morning we spend many mornings (days, nights, you fill in the blank) beating ourselves up about bad choices, lost opportunities, and life that we thought would go differently?

I spent the night tonight with my brother, after of course doing a little work and running errands with my dear friend. (I had to put in the work line just in case my boss ever reads my blog. hehe) One year ago yesterday, August 24th, my brother's best friend died in a motorcycle accident. I spent the night at his deceased friend's mom's house with my brother--my best friend. My brother would be the first to tell you that he hasn't had a morning in the past year that he didn't wake up feeling pain from the loss of his best friend. And yet, God's mercies are new every morning, right? Hmmm....

Don't read this to think that I've jumped off the deep end into a wave of cynicism and criticism that questions the very faith in which I've placed my life and my hope and my family. Do know that I trust God at His Word in a very serious way. I'm just merely asking questions about the human condition and life in general. Okay?

I mentioned in my last post, which was a while ago...(again sorry I haven't been keeping up all that well), that I've been thinking a lot about fresh starts. And I guess, today, I wish that my brother could have one. And he would wish (and I do too) that his best friend could have one.

So as I lay here with my laptop, I guess I'm stuck pondering the meaning of a fresh start. The "start" part is easy, it's a beginning. "Fresh" on the other hand isn't so easy. Fresh starts definitely are not fresh as in new. My brother will never get a new start at life. He will never start over and try again. He will never get the opportunity to be with his best friend again. This is no do-over. So if fresh isn't new, then what is it? I guess a fresh start might better be defined as a different start. A different beginning. Thought it isn't new as in do-over, it is different.

So can I hope for a fresh start for my brother? Yes. I can hope that he can have a different start every morning that he wakes up and faces the option to take another run at life or to give up and give in. I pray for that fresh start for him tomorrow as the reality of his loss weighs more than a Mack truck on his shoulders. As he sleeps now, not ten feet from me, I know that his waking day tomorrow will be his toughest day yet. So yes, I pray for a fresh start tomorrow. Please pray that with me.

As for me, my fresh start has found footing in a new job, which I'm very excited about (except for the fact that I'm often distant from those people that I love...like my brother).

And I pray for you, that no matter what poor choices you've made, no matter how you've missed an opportunity today or yesterday, no matter how life has thrown you the fiercest curveball you've ever faced, that you would find the strength of your fresh start in the person of Jesus who "makes all things new". Now that is truly the freshest of starts, wouldn't you say?!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Long Time No Talk

So for all of you who have written me emails and nice notes and even scared emails thinking that I was dead or severely depressed, I thank you. I never imagined that if I accidentally fell off the planet for a month that so many people would...well...miss my writing. I don't write that comment as a depressed man, I just honestly am humbled and moved by your care and warm comments. I, too, have missed you.

So where have I been? Well, a lot has been going on with me. I have finished up my role as youth director at my church and have officially begun my new job working for a ministry that comes alongside organizations that use large youth conferences as their medium to impact students. My boss is an event producer and we manage and produce many different projects and events around the country for many different organizations. I've been in Ft. Collins, Colorado this week working on a conference of 2500 Free Methodist students at a conference called IYC. And I'm headed up to the mountains next week for a video shoot for an organization called Dare2Share.

So things are crazy. I played piano in my cousins wedding before I came here to Colorado. That was in Michigan (and remember I'm from Chicago). She is a suburban Chicago girl and married a cowboy. Talk about a clash of cultures! Their reception was quite comical, but very beautiful and so fun! I love Stacy (my cousin) and Zac (the new addition to the fam) so very much! And since I'll be in Denver a lot for my new job, I'll still get to see them a lot, which I'm just a little excited about! hehe :)

Before that I was home for a week but spent the week walking the new youth director through his brand new (and quite overwhelming) position. He's a great guy and will do so well with the ministry. I just know he's feeling quite overwhelmed and scared about all the details and so little time.

The week before that I was at summer camp with my students in the North Woods of Wisconsin at a camp called Silver Birch Ranch. We were the worship team there at SBR and it was a great way to end my time at my church--with students and the new youth director, helping him meet students and talking him through many things. It was also great to catch up with dear friends at the camp (which I have been going to since I was 5). So, I will miss them greatly!

All that to say, I've been a little busy. Not dead, not in a depth of depression, just busy and feeling torn in so many directions. I wish that you could jump into my world a little bit and see all the things that are going on and be excited with me, and when I get another chance (and don't worry it will be soon), I will share some of those excitements with you. For now, though, this will have to do.

I'm not sure if I have any readers left, but for those of you who are still around, I will be back to my usual rants once I establish a bit of a schedule in my new job. It's difficult finding blog time when I'm on so many events and typically work 15-20 hours a day. That would sould like a lot, but I love it. It's amazing to see so many students get impacted in powerful ways. I love seeing the effects of changed lives and fresh starts. Fresh starts.... That may just be the title of my next post. I feel like I need one. Do you?

Bless you all!