Have you ever had one of those days where you just didn't feel like doing anything? Like, I don't mean where you don't feel like mowing the lawn or don't feel like trudging to work. I mean, have you ever had one of those days where you don't feel like doing ANYTHING even remotely productive? I seem to be having one of those days....
Where does such an incredible depth of this laziness come from? Is it genetic? No, my parents are quite driven people. My dad has always been a workaholic and comes home from work only to spend his "family time" outside messing with the pool or the yard, or inside doing laundry and telling us to move it while he's washing the floor. My mom isn't lazy either. She's an avidly active member of the church gossip network, which I'll affectionately refer to as "THE NETWORK". Let me tell you, this seems to be a full-time job. Now, don't get me wrong, my mom can tactfully squeeze in counseling people, making dinner, and doing other mom-like things around her busy schedule of church gossip. Some days I really do believe that my mom could possibly enjoy taking part in THE NETWORK all day everyday if the gossip was newsworthy. Actually, she might even settle for her friends being home and the gossip unnewsworthy. Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't take much to keep THE NETWORK going. (This could be one of my rants in and of itself. Anyway, I'll keep going....)
My grandparents are even less lazy than my parents. I actually believe that they will enter the pearly gates after simultaneous heart attacks due to another packed day spent bleaching our garage floor on their hands and knees after having reorganized our basement storage closets...because they "needed it". These people are ridiculously motivated to do incredible amounts of work for little-to-no good reason. The storage closets "needed it". Really? I'm not even going to touch this one....
So my intense laziness doesn't appear to be genetic, even though I would love to blame it on someone. I suppose I could find some way to say that I'm overworked and tired and so it's not really laziness but rather fatigue from my profound devotion to my work and my studies. I'm pretty sure no one would really believe that, though--at least not any of the people that really know me. So where exactly did I get this propensity to do just a little more than nothing at all?
I guess I'd just have to say that I'm gifted. Honestly, I really believe that. (I know that you're thinking, "He's sick. He needs help," which could be true, but hang on...let me explain myself.) Laziness can actually benefit the soul. Like any good preacher, I'll say that again: Laziness can actually benefit the soul. Take today, for example. In the thick of my laziness I've managed to make an important decision: I'm going to start blogging. For the past few minutes, I've been doing some pretty intense thinking about why I'm feeling lazy today, and I've spent some time typing it out. The best part is that somehow some I've managed to convince some poor suckers (YOU!) that the futility of my day is actually worth spending time reading about. HA! Upon realizing what a feat I've accomplished with what many would consider another worthless day, my soul is thoroughly uplifted. Therefore, I conclude that laziness benefits the soul.
Actually I think I'm ready to take on a few other amazing tasks...1) getting up and 2) eating some food. Yes...it's been one of those days.
1 comment:
Having taught a few writing classes myself, I completely understand your desire to spite the poor soul who played that role in your own life. After all, does it really matter whether or not you remember to put a comma between two independent clauses joined by a conjuction? Will anyone notice if the verb tense remains consistent throughout your rant? Does your reader really care if a phrase that ends with a noun introducing a list is set apart from that list by a colon? I mean, those are all inconsequential details, right? In a blog - yes. In a personal email - yes. In a letter to a friend - yes. EVERYWHERE ELSE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD NO!
So BJ, as you write your blog, please experience the freedom that locking your grammatical conscience in the nearest secure area provides. But, I beg you, don't throw away the key. The fact that you are making an effort to spite a writing teacher by throwing rudimentary writing principles to the wind is somehow heartwarming simply because it means you know the principles to begin with (espcecially since we live in a world where movies like "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" make any attempts at national grammatical proficiency hopeless).
It's "Honey, I SHRANK the Kids"!
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